22/12/2020

Dear diary,

Today we left Lagos for some much needed rest. I tried to rest at the beginning of December but found myself unable to.

Rest: the freedom from activity and labor / peace of mind or spirit

I seem to always be doing something. Even when I’m not physically working, my mind is working. Maybe it’s my heightened sense of responsibility or maybe it’s my upbringing – six children, four younger than me, I’m the substitute mother.

I was reluctant to travel, thinking instead of all the things I have to do and making plans for how I wanted to hit the ground running in the new year, unraveling all of my plans. It’s clear that I haven’t still learnt to entrust my plans to the Lord and humbly say, if it is His will I will do this and that. It was my husband who insisted on a break, pointing out how the getaway will be good for me. So I listened.

These two weeks, I’m going to try and take things slow by journaling, reading, spending time with the Lord and with my husband, eating and laughing a lot. I was excited when we landed. I’d never seen anywhere as beautiful, calm and quiet. I took a picture but felt a bit frustrated a second after because it didn’t reflect enough of the beauty my eyes were drinking in.

There’s a kind of walk with the Lord that I’ve been longing for for years since I’ve been born again. On Sunday we had friends over and we cooked in the kitchen together and talked about the Lord and the true gospel. It was beautiful and I learnt so much from just listening to them break down the Word of God.

Listening to these friends quoting scripture so effortlessly and breaking down the Word of God sparked something in me that I didn’t even know was there – deep hunger for God’s Word. I love to pray and I love to sing and loose myself in worship but now more than I ever, I sense the Lord calling me to walk with Him through scripture. He said to me one day when I was preparing to teach at an event, “your experiences are not the Word of God. You can share them, but lead people back to me. Point them back to scripture. Teach them scripture and for you to do that, you must become a sound student of The Word, yourself.”

So Sunday was just another confirmation for me and I am so ready to begin during this break, choosing to soak myself in the Lord and in my relationships. I am very blessed.

There’s a throb going on at the left side of my head. I don’t know if it’s from the flight or if it’s simply my body signalling me to put down my phone. I’m listening, though.